Not exactly a (lip) trilling night of performances

Last nights show was surprising on 2 fronts.  The first being that I was uplifted and encouraged by the performances of Katelyn, Crystal, Siobhan and Lilly.  The second being that the rest of the Top 10 Girls stage time had me looking forward to the Reese's Peanut Butter Egg commercial from the previous week instead of focusing on their performances.  When a commercial for an extremely delicious but horrifically fattening candy is more appealing then the blaise song choices and lackluster performances of "America's" Top 10 Girls, you know there is a problem.  Listen up Fox and 19 Entertainment or whatever you are called; it may be time to rethink the selection process.  It may be time to seriously consider selecting quality singers instead of putting who you feel has the more interesting back story.  Or trying desperately to make the group as diverse as possible.  How about just selecting the Top 24 best singers in the bunch no matter their gender, backstory, or or commercial appeal.  Sure I understand that there is a great deal of money invloved but look at Kelly Clarkson (since we heard some of her music last night it is only appropriate) as an example of what can happen when you go with talent over everything else.  I don't know of anyone who watched the show in Season 1 who said to themselves, "wow, this girl is so commercial!"  Last time I checked she's doing alright in the money making department and has a few awards to boot!

Getting back to the performances.  I am baffeled at the continued inability of both the Guys and Girls to select songs that don't make them sound like they are 40 year old seedy lounge singers off the Vegas strip.  My goodness people, what decade/century are you living in or for that matter, were born in?  Under what circumstances does someone who is 17 years old or 22 years old look at a catalogue of songs and say to themselves, "this song from 1964 is perfect!  I'll sing it exactly as it is written and perfom a carbon copy of the clip I saw on YouTube from when it was performed on the Ed Sullivan Show in 1965!"  Here's a helpful hint contestants since the Judges don't seem to be able to clearly or cohearently point you all in the right direction - Study clips of David Cook, Adam Lambert, Chris Daughtry, or any other Idol contestant that either a) took a song everyone knows and has heard a million times and rearranged it in a subtle way to make it their own or b) found another artists rendition of said song and perform that version - just make sure to credit the artist!  Make use of Ricky Minor and the band and seek advice and guidance when setting the arrangement, he has a wealth of knowledge.  Just don't be afraid to tell the band to take it down a notch it is a singing competition afterall.  And last but not least, sit down, think about what type of record you'd be proud to make, and pick some songs and arrange them to fit your intended style.  If you need immediate examples, look to Crystal and Lilly as they have the inside track on this so far.  If you need historical evidence, study clips of Taylor Hicks, Chris Daughtry or Carrie Underwood - 3 artists who knew who they were and knew what type of music they wanted to perform.

Now it's time for me to give my 2 cents about each performance.

First I want to direct your attention to the start of the show.  As the camera was panning back from the stage I noticed one of the stage managers/producers was on stage pumping up the audience to yell and clap louder.  Such pandering isn't necessary is it?  I hope not.  Unless the opening comedy act was truely boring.  Yes folks, there is an opening act for these shows and it is usually comedy. 

Second I'd like to disect what Randy "Valentine's Day Sweater Gift" Jackson said about Tuesday night's show.  And I quote "Guys were hot last night.  They had fire in their eyes."  I'm not doctor but it might be time for Mr. Jackson to get his eyes and ears checked out because that statement made about as much sense as Glen Beck or Rush Limbaugh. 

In yet another move that shows that Ellen is getting more comfortable and was a good choice as Paula's replacement, she let the contestants know that "song choice is everything."  Sadly, she would have to repeat that throughout the evening. 

Kara and Simon, "sitting in one seat..."  Perhaps a vortex is created by Simon's unbuttoned shirts (as Ryan pointed out it is a severly plunging neckline) that causes Kara's chair to be pulled closer and closer to his each time he sits down.  Otherwise it's just plain weird and creepy that they sit so close together.  

Fresh out of the hospital and onto the Idol stage was Crystal "Meth?" Bowersox.  I kid!  I kid!  Referring to herself as a "tough cookie" Bowersox, whose condition was not revealed but is thought to have been caused by diabeties complications, wow the Judges and the viewing audience with a "going to church" version of Creedance Clearwater Revival's "Long as I Can See the Light."  Ryan was correct when he started the show by stating "it Is On!"  Crystal once again proved that she is a force in the competition despite the fact that she has a twin brother that as she put it "is a square, but I love him!"  Randy, Ellen, and Kara all praised her "truth," "natural talent," and "that she's not "trying to be anyone else," while Simon (ye of the 2 story tall trailer) thanked her for "not playing the sympathy card" and stated that much like with Kelly Clarkson (there's that name again!), could very well be the "moment we realized we have a serious artist here."

Haeley "The Singing Goat" Vaughn ambled on stage next sporting one of her "homemade" hair accessories.  I wonder if she made the ones that Katie has been wearing?  Before she sang we got to peek into her life and learn that she's a "bubbly happy person"; she's pretty nervous on stage; and this weeks song lyrics mean a lot to her.  She then proceeded to sing "The Climb" by Miley Cyrus.  To quote Nigel Powers, "There's only 2 things I hate in this world; People who are intolerent of other people's cultures and Miley Cyrus."  He actually said the Dutch but it works better with Miley Cyrus.  What the Judges failed to say accurately was that the song choice could have worked if she had any idea what the song actually meant or had the ability to convey any emotion other than exhuberent.  Ellen nailed it when she stated that she "just memorized the lyrics."  I kept asking myself, "why is this girl even on the show?"  I couldn't come up with a single plausable response.  Simon then stated that he wasn;t going to make it any worse than it already was.  He then called it a "complete and utter mess" and "in theory it should work" but the irony of it was that "when she should have been climbing but in reality you fell off."  That left Ryan to ask "what good did that do?"

Lacey was up next with Six Pence None the Richer's "Kiss Me."  Her video package started off with ehr apologizing for her performance last week which I tought was sweet.  What would be sweeter though is if she gave me one of her refurbrishing projects.  I want to like Lacey.  I think that she cool, has nice style and I kinda dig her voice.  Unfortunately, her performances don't roll my socks up and down.  Which is really bumming me out.  While this week was better than last on many fronts I was a thrilled with the performance as Big Mike was - he was really gettin jiggy with it!  Again, Simon summed it up perfectly when he said she "is taking part in the competition instead of actually showing who she is as an artist."  If Lacey makes it through she really needs to find the right song and wow us next week.  But that's a big if.

Katie, Katie, Katie.  I'm embarassed for you as well.  Here's a little advice Katie.  No matter how much the judges want you to sound younger, you aren't going to so tell them that you have a smokey older sounding voice and that they should just live with it.  What you need to be able to do going forward, if you go forward, is perform the songs in a manner that gives the appearance of youthfulness.  How you do that in 90 seconds without acting like a clown I have no idea.  But that is your goal.  Kara suggested you use your experiences but when you're 17, how many experiences can you pull from?  Anyway, Katie sang "Put Your Records On" by Corinne Bailey Rea and while it wasn't terrible, it was frustrating.  As my wife said, "there's something bothersome about her vocals."  I agree.  Something just isn't clicking.  There is a disconnect there that I just can't put my finger on.

What can I say about Didi's performance of "Stand By Me" by Bill Withers that wasn't said last night.  Well how about that I actually liked it!  I like Didi and I think that she has a teriffic voice.  Is she great on stage?  No.  Can she be great on stage?  Yes.  Was David Archuleta a train wreck each week on stage?  Hell yes!  He seemend to get by.  Lay off Judges!  Only Ellen gave her constructive criticism.  If Didi wasn't too upset to get Ellen's meaning I'll spell it out for her - find a song by a particular artist that you want to do and then find the right song for your vocal stylings, abilities, identity and then work with the band to craft an arrangement that suits your talents or find an arrangement of the song by another artist that can give you ideas on how to play with the instrumentation or lyric sequence.  Should I start charging for this awesome advice?

Okay, I own several pairs of fingerless gloves but who in their right mind wants to own a pair of "just fingers" gloves?  Sure I've seen the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian wearing them but they are pretentions a-holes.  Is that the vibe you are going for Michelle?  Disregard the fact that Randy (and I've mentioned this before the Dawg wore a purple on purple on purple suit that made him look like Barney or Grimace) thought you looked hot but do laugh at the cameraman's inability to find Vera Wang in the audience and instead focus on the first slightly Asian looking woman he/she could find!  Lose the fingerlets and the look would have been nice.  The look didn't fit the song however so it was like a walking juxtaposition.  Michelle's video clip informed us all that she works with a children as a church choir director.  Michelle then stated that she was going to rally switch things up this week.  Because as the Judges said, she needs to take risks.  What does Michelle do?  She decides to sing "With Arms Wide Open" by Creed.  Ryan, Randy, Ellen, Kara and Simon were all snowed by her selecting a "rock" song with Kara going so far to praise her for taking risks.  For everyone who didn;t already know, Creed is a Christian Rock band from Tallahassee, FL.  How is it considered a risk for a church choir director to sing a Christian Rock song?  Please, someone tell me because I can't fathom it.  Personally I thought the whole thing was a flamming bag of dog poo that I was forced to stomp out with my bare feet.  Is essence - not cool!

Lilly is the f'ing bomb!  That is all I really need to say but I'll say more.  So far for me, she is the cat's pajamas!  I loved everything about her performance of Sam Cooke's "A Change Is Gonna Come." 

Katelyn is a bit of a techno nerd it seems.  I think that ups her coolness factor a few notches in my book.  What also ups her coolness factor?  Her performance last night.  Way cool!  I was a bit miffed to learn that she had no idea that her version of Coldpaly's "The Scientist" was almost identical to Natasha Beddingfield's but then again, I didn't know she had a version of the song either.  For everyone's viewing pleasure here is a clip:

       
With that being said, I still thought she brought it last night.  If she can keep choosing song wisely and finding interesting arrangements then she could go far in this thing.

Paige "Picture Pages" Miles and her Crayola Crayons was up next and suffice it to say, it came up about 20 Crayons short of a 64 box.  Paige has an amazing voice and seems comfortable on stage.  She just can't pick the right song.  If she figures that part out she could be dangerous.  Singing Kelly Clarkson's "Walk Away" which was co-written by Kara, Paige did a nice job with the vocals but as Kara pointed out, she didn't connect with the meaning of the song.  And that connection goes a long way to getting votes.  Just ask Adam Lambert!

Siobhan rounded out the night with "Think" by Aretha.  The Funny Little Thing did it again this week.  My actual notes stated this:  DAMN!  Who knew she had that kind of vocal prowess to nail every big note in that song.  I was sure that I was about to witness a disaster akin to the sinking of the Titanic when her song oice was revealed but I was wrong.  I loved how she said she figured out how to hit the note by "singing Kelly Clarkson (I know!) in the shower a few months ago."  I also loved it when Ellen said "they say don't take on such a big song.  They also siad don't mix sleeves with a blanket but look at the Snuggie."  I couldn't think of a better way to sum it up myself.  Thanks Ellen!

I'm off to order a Snuggie/Slanket.  Tune in tonight at 8pm for the results to see if your favorite stays or is voted off in another outbreak of "the Crazies!"

~E