Not since "America" accidentally voted George Dubya into office in 2000 has there been a clear case of WTF with regards to voting results. Was it a case of ballot stuffing? Hanging chads? Were zombies (yes folks that's 2 uses of the word zombie in 2 days) texting for their leader? Is that commercial for the new movie "The Crazies" based on actual events and somehow linked to last night results? We may never know the answer for sure unless....never mind, David Freidman has left the building and is not available to fly to Hollywood and partake in a recount. Such is life.
Except for my theory about "The Crazies." I'll tell you. I have a neighbor who acts suspiciously like the folks in that movie trailer. He was standing across the street staring at my building the other night when Alyssa and I went out to walk our dogs. He then crossed the street right towards us still staring at my building. I stepped aside to get out of his way and he paused as if he was going to just follow us. I walked a few steps and follow us he did. I stepped aside again and he darted by us a few feet and then violently spit on the ground and thrashed his Tedeschi's bag around and stormed up the stairs to his building which is right next to mine. Once on the stairs he began screaming obscenities in the general direction of his front door and then turned around to hurl several incomprehensible swears and other ramblings towards us before creaming at his door again and going inside.
What does this have to do with anything you ask? Plot. That's what. And I thought you might enjoy a little true life story from the streets of Chelsea (where I'll return shortly).
On with the plot. The show starts inncoently enough. Ryan looking dapper. The contestants all lined up and ready to sing together for the first time on stage. A little small talk, a little buildup and BAM! We are thrust right into the first big scene of horrific and gratuitous carnage, the lip-synch group number. Tonights bloodbath was to the tune of Estelle's "American Boy." Based on the destructive nature of these numbers and the fact that 19 Entertainment refuses to a) let the contestants sing live or b) get some quality guest singers to perform each week leads me to wonder why Toyota isn't the sponsor instead of Ford. Toyota doesn't mind sacrificing people for profits either?
Right on cue Ryan then quickly and methodically whittled down the first row of girls (victims?) until only the blond girl wearing high heels and the terrified girl-next-door were left and you all know how that always turns out. Terrified girl almost projectile vomits everywhere but the one wearing high-heels can't outrun her fate. Sure enough it was off with Janell's head as she was the first girl out the contest. Janell didn't seem to care so why should I?
As any good slasher flick does, we were treated to some feel good moments in between the scenes of destruction. Up first was Allison and her blood red hair. She sounded great singing her new song "Scars" and also offered up this little nugget to Ryan, "Should we do an incredibly awkward interview now?" God bless that quirky girl!
In order to ratchet up the suspense, Ryan then jumped feet first into eliminating the first guy. He passed up several choice victims - Jermaine, Aaron, Mike but managed to corner Tim and Joe. Tim, the hapless dweeb who wasn't even supposed to be there in the first place and Joe who was this years "nameless guy in the red shirt who gets picked to accompany the stars of Star Trek on a mission." For additional historical reference, take a look back over the majority of seasons on Idol and you will see a disturbing pattern of a high percentage of minority, and more specifically Hispanic, contestants being voted off the show in the first 2 weeks of voting. Yes there are exceptions - Anoop"gawg" for one. But the majority don't make it past week 2 - Jorge? In the first big twist of the night it was Joe who got stabbed in the heart by America's votes allowing Tim to scurry to safety for at leats one more week. I'm not pleased with this but as seems to happen often with these plots there is someone working with the bad guy and at this time I fear it is Tim. He will be back next week to murder another song and cause undue pain and suffering to millions of viewers.
The next girl to be hunted down was Chelsea's own Ashley Rodriguez (please see previous theory!). Paired up with Didi, who Vegas bookmakers have pegged at 7/1 odds of winning the whole show, Ashley decided to put up a bit of a fight on her way out. She was visibly angered and appeared ready to lash out at Ryan. Instead she decided to lash out at America by belting out a schrill and offputting encore that was far from "Happy." She may have been cute but she evidently couldn't handle the Idol stage and while she should have survived for at least one more week in place of Haeley it wasn't meant to be.
Kris Allen then appeared in his cameo role to provide Ryan with assistance in support for the people of Haiti and to pimp Idol Gives Back which will take place on April 21st. Good cause and okay performance of "Let It Be" but in my opinion, nothing beets the original, not even Archuleta!
The final act was upon us and it was sure to be a doozie. Let's set it up shall we. The final 2 contestants left standing were the bathrobe, gym socks and ankle boot wearing retro-rocker Tyler and the flannel-chammie shirt, dirty t-shirt, baggy jeans and mullet sporting "unripe banana" named Alex. To add some additional spice to the mix Ryan offers the judges an opportunity to throw one of them under the bus. In typical Idol fashion, Randy, Kara and Ellen all deflect the question and Simon steps up shoves Tyler with all his hairy chested might. This causes Alex to pee his pants and scream out profanities which are bleeped out. But before Tyler's career dies, he manages to jab back at the judges with "If I had gotten more constructive criticism during Hollywood Week..." which results in Fox cutting his song off to go to the news.
Alex, Jermaine, Tim, John, Paige, Lacey, Haeley and Siobhan all survived and cost many of us valuable points. After the finanl number were tallied here is how things stand going into week 2:
David 2 points
Yolanda 2 points
Scott 1 point
Kristen 1 point
Betty 1 point
Lois 1 point
Jon 1 point
Thanks everyone and if everything works out next week we will have voting polls operational for the guys and girls. I hope to have a test run ready by Monday.
~E
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Spelling Issues and Voting Results Thus Far
Good evening everyone!
I'm back and hopefully spelling better than I was at lunchtime. Man do I wish this thing had spell check. Oh well, I'm not getting paid so you will have to suffer through my spelling issues (although I'm starting to believe that Blogger sometimes spelles words however it wants - talk about ghost writing).
It's 5 minutes before showtime and I have not received votes from Margret.
Allison and Kris are on the program tonight along with the debut of the new "take a hike" song which will be "Leave Right Now" by UK Idol winner Will Young.
The leading vote getter thus far are Lacey and Haeley for the girls and Jermaine and Tim for the guys.
Enjoy the show and I'll post the points tomorrow morning.
I'm back and hopefully spelling better than I was at lunchtime. Man do I wish this thing had spell check. Oh well, I'm not getting paid so you will have to suffer through my spelling issues (although I'm starting to believe that Blogger sometimes spelles words however it wants - talk about ghost writing).
It's 5 minutes before showtime and I have not received votes from Margret.
Allison and Kris are on the program tonight along with the debut of the new "take a hike" song which will be "Leave Right Now" by UK Idol winner Will Young.
The leading vote getter thus far are Lacey and Haeley for the girls and Jermaine and Tim for the guys.
Enjoy the show and I'll post the points tomorrow morning.
Boys Don't Cry?...Well Tim Urban Almost Did!
This Is "Simon Stop Talking!"
Somewhat of a strange way to start the program last night for Ryan but I guess if Simon won't shut his piehole while Ryan is trying to do his thing you gotta call him out on it. Right?
Another bizarre quote to begin the show was Randy blerting out "The girls blew it out last night." Blew what out exactly Randy? Their flicker of hope at advancing? Their lunch? What exactly are you referring to Dawg because I have no idea!?!
I'm pressed for time....$%^&*(*&^%$ work! This is more important than work people!!!! So here it goes....
Toderick "Disappointed Kids In The" Hall started off the show with a rather bizzaro rendition of Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone." Hall may have made it a little too much of his own because the song was almost unrecognizable. He really overdid it but was very comfortable on stage thanks to his previous work with Fantasia. The judges didn't dig his performance but did kinda appreciate his taking a chance.
Aaron Kelly aka David Archuleta II sang second and despite everything going against him actually performed quite well. His version of "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts was pretty solid. Grandmothers (pantsless or otherwise) are going to be all over this kid and his pop county, wholesome dude vibe. Initially I just wanted to stuff him in a locker but now I fear I must take him seriously. The judges also seemed to love him.
Jermaine "Watch Out for the Bus" Sellers followed Kelly and made everyone in attendace wonder why on Earth he made the Top 12 Guys. "Get Here If You Can" by Oleta Adams was never meant to be sung like that! Personally I think he "churched it up" too much with far too many unnecessary runs and rise/falls but what do I know. Wait, I actually know quite a bit and darnit, I'm correct. He may be boarding that bus he used to run the band over with after that...
Tim "I'm No Chris Golightly" Urban ook the stage singing "Apologize" by One Republic. Hey Tim, what the f$%* was that? Please apologize to the following: One Republic for murdering their music; the band; to Chris for taking his spot; to the judges for making them look like fools; the producers for making them look like bigger fools; and to the viewing audience for making us suffer through a song that made Saw 1 through 6 look like puppys frolicing in a field of flowers. As Simon said, they "Made the right decision the first time." People were probably trying to leave. I know I wanted to leave the room but I couldn't look away.
Joe "No I Wasn't In Menudo" Munoz unfortunately had to follow Tim. Joe sang "You and I' by Jason Mraz. While I'd never heard this song before what was more important for Joe was that he performed it well. He looked at ease on stage and while his vocals weren't amazing, he held his own. His performance also ilicited the first "For Me For You" from Randy. Kara went so far to claim it was the best so far.
Tyler "Ghost of Jim Morrison" Grady slithered on stage next and performed "American Woman." Personally, I loved the performance. It was very reminiscent of Bo Bice who I loved in season 4. Was it predictible? Sure. Was it safe? Only if he performed it well which he did. Does he need to become more than one dimentional as a performer? Of course. Will he make it through to next week? You bet!
Lee DeWyze sang 7th for the Guys. He chose Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars." Here's some background on poor Lee from my perspective: He looks just like a guy (I had a much more applicable word but I edited it out) I unfortunately know so everytime I see him I want to punch him in the face; He chose a song I love and I'm positive I could have sung better - I'll even prove it at karioke some night if you want proof; and did I mention that I want to punch him in the face because he looks like someone I know and lothe? Okay. As for his performance I can say that I like his voice and the tone of his voice to be presice. That being said, he didn't roll my socks up and down. So I agree with Randy when he said, "Ah Dawg. Not good."
John "Doe" Park was up next and clearly misunderstood the importance of the first performance on Idol. Otherwise he would have picked a song that was more current and showcased his mad vocal skills. Instead he sang the jazz standard "God Bless the Child." I understand why he did it but he choose the wrog time to do it. Not that there is a right time unless the theme is jazz standards. He sang with absolutely no passion and the whole thing bordered on a motel lounge act.
"Big" Mike Lynch stepped to the mic next with Maroon 5's "This Love." Sorry Mike, I got no love for your rendition. Sorry. I want to like you but right now you are coming off as cocky and perhaps entitled. Yes you were comfortable on stage - sweaty pit aside, but Simon was correct when he described you as an opening act for the main performer at a concert. Step it up next week big man!
Alex "Won't Ever Get Confused With Adam" Lambert was on after Mike and sang "Wonderful World" by James Morrison. I don't know about you all but I was put off by his slightly psychotic zombie stare into the camera. His death grip on the mic was also disturbing. Clearly he has to get over the nerves and if he does, he could be a factor for many weeks because the dude has got some vocal chops. I wonder if Kara gave him a hug or if she was too busy stalking Casey who was up next.
Casey "Cugar Bait" James performed "Heaven" by Canada's own Bryan Adams. Casey sat on a stool and strummed his guitar and performed a bluesy, Bob Seagerish version that was safe yet well done. Casey has many things going for him; his looks; his style; his vocals; his hair; Kara's undying lust; a good back story. What he has going against him thus far is that he somehow has managed to channel the creepy pedifile stare of Constantine Maroulis. Simon and Ryan had the best quotes here with "Both cursed with good looks;" "Kara's cugar love;" and "Kara's HR meeting next week." Good stuff guys!
Last but not least was Andrew "Straight Up - No Cahser" Garcia with Fallout Boy's "Sugar We're Going Down." Andrew came out with his guitar and performed a nice acoustic version of the song. I enjoyed the second half more than the first and he clearly is going to get through. The judges didn't really enjoy it but based on everything else that they heard, his performance was one of the better ones.
Okay folks. Please e-mail me your picks. I also put a poll on the right side of the main page where people can vote for who goes home. Unfortunately everyone will need to create a profile in order to use this feature. I also don't know for sure how well it will work or if your votes can be properly attributed for our purposes. If anyone is game, give it a try so I can test this out. Thanks
~E
Somewhat of a strange way to start the program last night for Ryan but I guess if Simon won't shut his piehole while Ryan is trying to do his thing you gotta call him out on it. Right?
Another bizarre quote to begin the show was Randy blerting out "The girls blew it out last night." Blew what out exactly Randy? Their flicker of hope at advancing? Their lunch? What exactly are you referring to Dawg because I have no idea!?!
I'm pressed for time....$%^&*(*&^%$ work! This is more important than work people!!!! So here it goes....
Toderick "Disappointed Kids In The" Hall started off the show with a rather bizzaro rendition of Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone." Hall may have made it a little too much of his own because the song was almost unrecognizable. He really overdid it but was very comfortable on stage thanks to his previous work with Fantasia. The judges didn't dig his performance but did kinda appreciate his taking a chance.
Aaron Kelly aka David Archuleta II sang second and despite everything going against him actually performed quite well. His version of "Here Comes Goodbye" by Rascal Flatts was pretty solid. Grandmothers (pantsless or otherwise) are going to be all over this kid and his pop county, wholesome dude vibe. Initially I just wanted to stuff him in a locker but now I fear I must take him seriously. The judges also seemed to love him.
Jermaine "Watch Out for the Bus" Sellers followed Kelly and made everyone in attendace wonder why on Earth he made the Top 12 Guys. "Get Here If You Can" by Oleta Adams was never meant to be sung like that! Personally I think he "churched it up" too much with far too many unnecessary runs and rise/falls but what do I know. Wait, I actually know quite a bit and darnit, I'm correct. He may be boarding that bus he used to run the band over with after that...
Tim "I'm No Chris Golightly" Urban ook the stage singing "Apologize" by One Republic. Hey Tim, what the f$%* was that? Please apologize to the following: One Republic for murdering their music; the band; to Chris for taking his spot; to the judges for making them look like fools; the producers for making them look like bigger fools; and to the viewing audience for making us suffer through a song that made Saw 1 through 6 look like puppys frolicing in a field of flowers. As Simon said, they "Made the right decision the first time." People were probably trying to leave. I know I wanted to leave the room but I couldn't look away.
Joe "No I Wasn't In Menudo" Munoz unfortunately had to follow Tim. Joe sang "You and I' by Jason Mraz. While I'd never heard this song before what was more important for Joe was that he performed it well. He looked at ease on stage and while his vocals weren't amazing, he held his own. His performance also ilicited the first "For Me For You" from Randy. Kara went so far to claim it was the best so far.
Tyler "Ghost of Jim Morrison" Grady slithered on stage next and performed "American Woman." Personally, I loved the performance. It was very reminiscent of Bo Bice who I loved in season 4. Was it predictible? Sure. Was it safe? Only if he performed it well which he did. Does he need to become more than one dimentional as a performer? Of course. Will he make it through to next week? You bet!
Lee DeWyze sang 7th for the Guys. He chose Snow Patrol's "Chasing Cars." Here's some background on poor Lee from my perspective: He looks just like a guy (I had a much more applicable word but I edited it out) I unfortunately know so everytime I see him I want to punch him in the face; He chose a song I love and I'm positive I could have sung better - I'll even prove it at karioke some night if you want proof; and did I mention that I want to punch him in the face because he looks like someone I know and lothe? Okay. As for his performance I can say that I like his voice and the tone of his voice to be presice. That being said, he didn't roll my socks up and down. So I agree with Randy when he said, "Ah Dawg. Not good."
John "Doe" Park was up next and clearly misunderstood the importance of the first performance on Idol. Otherwise he would have picked a song that was more current and showcased his mad vocal skills. Instead he sang the jazz standard "God Bless the Child." I understand why he did it but he choose the wrog time to do it. Not that there is a right time unless the theme is jazz standards. He sang with absolutely no passion and the whole thing bordered on a motel lounge act.
"Big" Mike Lynch stepped to the mic next with Maroon 5's "This Love." Sorry Mike, I got no love for your rendition. Sorry. I want to like you but right now you are coming off as cocky and perhaps entitled. Yes you were comfortable on stage - sweaty pit aside, but Simon was correct when he described you as an opening act for the main performer at a concert. Step it up next week big man!
Alex "Won't Ever Get Confused With Adam" Lambert was on after Mike and sang "Wonderful World" by James Morrison. I don't know about you all but I was put off by his slightly psychotic zombie stare into the camera. His death grip on the mic was also disturbing. Clearly he has to get over the nerves and if he does, he could be a factor for many weeks because the dude has got some vocal chops. I wonder if Kara gave him a hug or if she was too busy stalking Casey who was up next.
Casey "Cugar Bait" James performed "Heaven" by Canada's own Bryan Adams. Casey sat on a stool and strummed his guitar and performed a bluesy, Bob Seagerish version that was safe yet well done. Casey has many things going for him; his looks; his style; his vocals; his hair; Kara's undying lust; a good back story. What he has going against him thus far is that he somehow has managed to channel the creepy pedifile stare of Constantine Maroulis. Simon and Ryan had the best quotes here with "Both cursed with good looks;" "Kara's cugar love;" and "Kara's HR meeting next week." Good stuff guys!
Last but not least was Andrew "Straight Up - No Cahser" Garcia with Fallout Boy's "Sugar We're Going Down." Andrew came out with his guitar and performed a nice acoustic version of the song. I enjoyed the second half more than the first and he clearly is going to get through. The judges didn't really enjoy it but based on everything else that they heard, his performance was one of the better ones.
Okay folks. Please e-mail me your picks. I also put a poll on the right side of the main page where people can vote for who goes home. Unfortunately everyone will need to create a profile in order to use this feature. I also don't know for sure how well it will work or if your votes can be properly attributed for our purposes. If anyone is game, give it a try so I can test this out. Thanks
~E
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Oh No They Didn't!
I just got off the telephone with the good folks at the elder care facility where my grandmother lives and just as I had predicted, last nights show did indeed bore the pants off her. And not just her, but everyone who lives there was pantsless by the time the show ended. Believe me when I say that we should all be glad that we didn't have to see that! Unfortunately we did have to suffer through 2 hours of some of the most unimagined, flat, halh-hearted, snoozfest inducing "covers" that have ever graced the Idol stage. I would hazzard a guess that someone, somewhere is pondering a lawsuit against Fox and 19 for their blatent misrepresentation of the product we were to witness coupled with the false advertisment of "Top 12 Girls."
Put out and APB or an Amber Alert because someone kidnapped the Girls talent. For the love of everything good and decent in the world, please let the "Top 12 Boys" bring some life back to the Idol stage tonight. Even the judges seemed disinterested with the majority of the performances and began sounding like a broken record after just the second performance and for what Ashley (my fellow Chelsalvedoran!) did on that stage I am using the term performance loosely.
The show began with the announcement from Ryan that for the next 3 weeks the contestants would be singing hits fron the Billboard Top 100, just as I had alluded to in my Tuesday post. Hits from the Billboard Top 100? It was more like "Hits from the Bong." There was no life at all on the stage. Ryan further reminded everyone that the bottom 2 girls and boys each week would be tossed back into the sea of mediocre singers that roam the Earth until the voting public had carefully and thoughtfully crafted their Top 12. Based on last nights offerings, it should be a bottom 10 because only 2 Girls actually did enough to sail on through to next week.
Up first was Paige Miles (the contestant that Simon stated was the best singer in the competition) who was "singing?" Free's "All Right Now." I don't know about any of you but I wasn't alright after listening to what sounded more like Minnie Driver's version of "Stand By Your Man" in Goldeneye. Youtube it if want a laugh. Sure she was first to go and was so nervous that she had to be sewn into her clothes and may also have been suffering from uromysitisis. Regardless she did nothing remotely interesting with the song except not sing it that well. Yes, she has pipes and a bluesy/soulful tone but so does my my Watson when he howls. Sadly he's too old to audition. He's 8!
Ashley Rodriguez stepped on stage next and no sooner had Ryan indicated that she would be singing (again I use this term loosely) "Happy" by Leona Lewis. Folks, there was nothing happy about the performance until it ended. Ashley is not Leona Lewis and should never, ever try to be her ever again. Simon summed it up perfectly when he said "This is not going well."
Janell Wheeler followed with Heart's "What About Love." What about love? What about in tune. Why don't you try that next week Janell if you survive. And while you are at it perhaps you should wear some pants that are more flattering. Bad clothing choice. Worse song choice. Randy hit it right on the head when he said "Glad that's over." At least you can go to the new Harry Potter section of Disneyworld when you get back to Orlando. I hear it's magical....
The fifth Beatle Lily Scott was up next with "Fixing A Hole." This was the first performance that I actually enjoyed. Did she hit all the notes? No. Does she have a great sound and cool vocals. Yes. Does she remind anyone else of Cyndi Lauper? Kara was right on when she said, "That was believeable."
Hot on Lily's heels was Katelyn Epperly (who was channelling her inner Sara Jessica Parker with the feather in her hair and her outer Dita von Teese meets Tammy Faye Baker with the rubber dress/I got into's mommy's makeup look). Horrific styling aside, Epperly did a nice job with the Beatles' "Oh Darlin." While she did get a bit "screemy" at times, she moved switched things up and the tone of her voice was smooth.
Haley Joel Osment, I mean Haeley Vaughn followed Epperly and had me longingly thinking about the Reese's Peanut Butter Egg commercial that aired after Lily Scott's performance. Vaughn (I'd rather have heard Vince Vaughn sing) assaulted us with every bit of her air time. Not only did we have to suffer through her video package and witness her getting her nose pierced but then she preceeded to pierce our eardrums with her trainwreck version of "I Want To Hold Your Hand." Well I wanted to plug my ears but even that couldn't stop the pain and suffering. I'm not sure what Ellen was listening to but it couldn't have been Vaugn because there was no way she would have said that she enjoyed it. Simon was right again when he stated "If I'm being honest, that was verging on terrible. You sounded like a wind-up doll. It was a complete and utter mess." The man speaks the truth.
Lacey Brown graced the stage next with her rendition of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." As a point of reference, Lacey was beat out for the final spot last year by Megan Joy Corkery. And we all know how that turned out "Ca caw!" "Anywho, there she was on a stool. Sounding like she was drowning in a pool. And I could feel my ears bleeding from the start. It was like watching Godzilla stomp a small Tokyo village apart." Hmmm, I might have something there. Lacey on the other hand had nothing. Which is too bad because I kinda dig her vibe. Ellen was right, she is better than that.
Michelle Delamor performed Alicia Keys "Fallin" and it wasn't half bad. While she did fall into the same trap as several of her fellow contestants - copycat of a much bigger and better singer, she did manage sing the song well. Yes it was a super safe choice but at least she actually hit the notes. What she was missing was the wow factor. Had she brought something interesting to the performance she would have vaulted right to the top of the Girls.
And then there were three.
I was excited to hear Didi Benami. She is another one that I have enjoyed so far. The I wasn't so excited. As Simon said it was "dreary" and "there was no spark." I love Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am" and I think that it is a perfect showcase for Didi's voice but the whole thing reminded me of Han Solo after he was frozen in carbonite -- too stiff and lifeless. Should she be around next week? I say yes.
Siobhan Magnus, the Cape Cod glassblowing apprentice decided that she would leap out of the 80's into the 90's and show her softer side with Chris Issac's "Wicked Game." As Simon said, "You are a funny little thing." He couldn' be more correct. She is an odd one thus far. I can't quite put my finger on it but if I could, I'd bet I wouldn't find a pulse. My reference to "Hits From the Bong" earlier was in direct reference to Siobhan. From her sleepy-eyed stare to her "What does dark horse mean," I was having flashbacks (point of reference, marijuana does not cause flashbacks, acid/shrooms/peyote does - or so I told) to Pickler and her infamous "What's salmon?" statement. Either the Cape school system is not up to snuff or Siobhan needs to find a job with a better ventilation system.
Crystal "Crest Whitening Strips" Bowersox was the penultimate performer and perform she did. Singing (and I actually mean it this time!) Alanis Morissette's "Hand In My Pocket," Crystal, her guitar and harmonica were probably the most polished performance of the night. She interacted with the crowd and the band and while she didn't make the song her own she didn't sound like a copycat. Kara was right (can anyone else believe that Kara and Randy were on fire tonight?) when she said that she needs to be mindful of not sounding "coffee house." I also enjoyed when Crystal responded to Simon when he told her to try and not sound like everyone else by saying "you don't allow original's on the show." Priceless!
Katie Stevens closed the show in the "Pimp Slot." Singing "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble, Katie didn't manage to wow us as Adam Lambert did last season with his performance of the same song. That being said, I didn't think that the judges were accurate with their critiques. Regardless, katie shoudl be around next week and will no doubt step up her game. She has one heck of a voice and I look forward to her performing next week.
Tonight we get the Top 12 Guys and I can only hope that their performances and song choices are better than the video package dancing they closed the show with because if it isn't, we are in for a long night.
Who stays and who goes? Leave a comment with your thoughts!
~E
Put out and APB or an Amber Alert because someone kidnapped the Girls talent. For the love of everything good and decent in the world, please let the "Top 12 Boys" bring some life back to the Idol stage tonight. Even the judges seemed disinterested with the majority of the performances and began sounding like a broken record after just the second performance and for what Ashley (my fellow Chelsalvedoran!) did on that stage I am using the term performance loosely.
The show began with the announcement from Ryan that for the next 3 weeks the contestants would be singing hits fron the Billboard Top 100, just as I had alluded to in my Tuesday post. Hits from the Billboard Top 100? It was more like "Hits from the Bong." There was no life at all on the stage. Ryan further reminded everyone that the bottom 2 girls and boys each week would be tossed back into the sea of mediocre singers that roam the Earth until the voting public had carefully and thoughtfully crafted their Top 12. Based on last nights offerings, it should be a bottom 10 because only 2 Girls actually did enough to sail on through to next week.
Up first was Paige Miles (the contestant that Simon stated was the best singer in the competition) who was "singing?" Free's "All Right Now." I don't know about any of you but I wasn't alright after listening to what sounded more like Minnie Driver's version of "Stand By Your Man" in Goldeneye. Youtube it if want a laugh. Sure she was first to go and was so nervous that she had to be sewn into her clothes and may also have been suffering from uromysitisis. Regardless she did nothing remotely interesting with the song except not sing it that well. Yes, she has pipes and a bluesy/soulful tone but so does my my Watson when he howls. Sadly he's too old to audition. He's 8!
Ashley Rodriguez stepped on stage next and no sooner had Ryan indicated that she would be singing (again I use this term loosely) "Happy" by Leona Lewis. Folks, there was nothing happy about the performance until it ended. Ashley is not Leona Lewis and should never, ever try to be her ever again. Simon summed it up perfectly when he said "This is not going well."
Janell Wheeler followed with Heart's "What About Love." What about love? What about in tune. Why don't you try that next week Janell if you survive. And while you are at it perhaps you should wear some pants that are more flattering. Bad clothing choice. Worse song choice. Randy hit it right on the head when he said "Glad that's over." At least you can go to the new Harry Potter section of Disneyworld when you get back to Orlando. I hear it's magical....
The fifth Beatle Lily Scott was up next with "Fixing A Hole." This was the first performance that I actually enjoyed. Did she hit all the notes? No. Does she have a great sound and cool vocals. Yes. Does she remind anyone else of Cyndi Lauper? Kara was right on when she said, "That was believeable."
Hot on Lily's heels was Katelyn Epperly (who was channelling her inner Sara Jessica Parker with the feather in her hair and her outer Dita von Teese meets Tammy Faye Baker with the rubber dress/I got into's mommy's makeup look). Horrific styling aside, Epperly did a nice job with the Beatles' "Oh Darlin." While she did get a bit "screemy" at times, she moved switched things up and the tone of her voice was smooth.
Haley Joel Osment, I mean Haeley Vaughn followed Epperly and had me longingly thinking about the Reese's Peanut Butter Egg commercial that aired after Lily Scott's performance. Vaughn (I'd rather have heard Vince Vaughn sing) assaulted us with every bit of her air time. Not only did we have to suffer through her video package and witness her getting her nose pierced but then she preceeded to pierce our eardrums with her trainwreck version of "I Want To Hold Your Hand." Well I wanted to plug my ears but even that couldn't stop the pain and suffering. I'm not sure what Ellen was listening to but it couldn't have been Vaugn because there was no way she would have said that she enjoyed it. Simon was right again when he stated "If I'm being honest, that was verging on terrible. You sounded like a wind-up doll. It was a complete and utter mess." The man speaks the truth.
Lacey Brown graced the stage next with her rendition of Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide." As a point of reference, Lacey was beat out for the final spot last year by Megan Joy Corkery. And we all know how that turned out "Ca caw!" "Anywho, there she was on a stool. Sounding like she was drowning in a pool. And I could feel my ears bleeding from the start. It was like watching Godzilla stomp a small Tokyo village apart." Hmmm, I might have something there. Lacey on the other hand had nothing. Which is too bad because I kinda dig her vibe. Ellen was right, she is better than that.
Michelle Delamor performed Alicia Keys "Fallin" and it wasn't half bad. While she did fall into the same trap as several of her fellow contestants - copycat of a much bigger and better singer, she did manage sing the song well. Yes it was a super safe choice but at least she actually hit the notes. What she was missing was the wow factor. Had she brought something interesting to the performance she would have vaulted right to the top of the Girls.
And then there were three.
I was excited to hear Didi Benami. She is another one that I have enjoyed so far. The I wasn't so excited. As Simon said it was "dreary" and "there was no spark." I love Ingrid Michaelson's "The Way I Am" and I think that it is a perfect showcase for Didi's voice but the whole thing reminded me of Han Solo after he was frozen in carbonite -- too stiff and lifeless. Should she be around next week? I say yes.
Siobhan Magnus, the Cape Cod glassblowing apprentice decided that she would leap out of the 80's into the 90's and show her softer side with Chris Issac's "Wicked Game." As Simon said, "You are a funny little thing." He couldn' be more correct. She is an odd one thus far. I can't quite put my finger on it but if I could, I'd bet I wouldn't find a pulse. My reference to "Hits From the Bong" earlier was in direct reference to Siobhan. From her sleepy-eyed stare to her "What does dark horse mean," I was having flashbacks (point of reference, marijuana does not cause flashbacks, acid/shrooms/peyote does - or so I told) to Pickler and her infamous "What's salmon?" statement. Either the Cape school system is not up to snuff or Siobhan needs to find a job with a better ventilation system.
Crystal "Crest Whitening Strips" Bowersox was the penultimate performer and perform she did. Singing (and I actually mean it this time!) Alanis Morissette's "Hand In My Pocket," Crystal, her guitar and harmonica were probably the most polished performance of the night. She interacted with the crowd and the band and while she didn't make the song her own she didn't sound like a copycat. Kara was right (can anyone else believe that Kara and Randy were on fire tonight?) when she said that she needs to be mindful of not sounding "coffee house." I also enjoyed when Crystal responded to Simon when he told her to try and not sound like everyone else by saying "you don't allow original's on the show." Priceless!
Katie Stevens closed the show in the "Pimp Slot." Singing "Feeling Good" by Michael Buble, Katie didn't manage to wow us as Adam Lambert did last season with his performance of the same song. That being said, I didn't think that the judges were accurate with their critiques. Regardless, katie shoudl be around next week and will no doubt step up her game. She has one heck of a voice and I look forward to her performing next week.
Tonight we get the Top 12 Guys and I can only hope that their performances and song choices are better than the video package dancing they closed the show with because if it isn't, we are in for a long night.
Who stays and who goes? Leave a comment with your thoughts!
~E
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Ladies First!
Tonight. Tonight. The Top 12 Girls sing tonight -- just be glad that I didn't add that as a wav file because I could have. Where was I? Oh yeah, the moment that American Idol fans the world over have been waiting for has finally arrived. The start of another Idol voting season and the end of quality sleep as we know it. If any of you watch The Ellen DeGeneres's show you know that she is on a quest for World Domination. Therefore, it is only fitting that she is now on Idol as they will be dominating the television schedule for the next however many weeks until they wittle the contestants down to the Top 12. So is everyone prepared for 2 hours of Idol tonight? 2 hours of Idol tomorrow night? And 1 hour on Thursday? I sure hope so because your success in this contest depends on your watching every single second of Idol programming right up until the May sweeps and the final episode. I should also remind everyone to recharge their cell phones; make sure their cable and telephone (do people even have landlines anymore?) bills have ben paid; stretch their dialing fingers and texting thumbs - we don't want any injuries; and stock up on their favorite snacks and beverages (Vitamin Water Zero anyone???; Scotch? Red Bull?) to get them through the 2 hours; and for those who won't be watching live, please remember to set your DVR's and Tivo's to run a few extra minutes long to ensure that you catch the whole show. On a side note, no 19 TV/Fox is not paying me to pimp their show but perhaps they will see this blog and love me so much that I will be the next American Idol judge!!! But I digress......
Back to Ellen's show for a moment. Did anyone catch Angela Martin's appearance on Friday? Well, for those who had not heard, Ellen had Angela on her show and after she sang, Ellen told her that Kara was writing a song for her and that it would be rofessionally recorded. On top of that, Kara/AI is going to help her get a recording contract. I guess that they really felt bad for not putting her throught to the Top 24 since it was her last chance. Good for Angela I say because she can really sing.
Now to tonight's show. I have heard rumors that the theme is Billboard Hot 100 Top 10 songs form any week in any year so brace yourselves because there are so many amazing songs on that list that could potentially be butchered or reinterpreted in new and cool ways. And as always, be prepared for several contestants to play it safe and manage to bore the pants off your grandmother.
On that note I will leave you all until tomorrow when I will provide my take on the Top 12 Girl's performances.
"The Moderator"
Back to Ellen's show for a moment. Did anyone catch Angela Martin's appearance on Friday? Well, for those who had not heard, Ellen had Angela on her show and after she sang, Ellen told her that Kara was writing a song for her and that it would be rofessionally recorded. On top of that, Kara/AI is going to help her get a recording contract. I guess that they really felt bad for not putting her throught to the Top 24 since it was her last chance. Good for Angela I say because she can really sing.
Now to tonight's show. I have heard rumors that the theme is Billboard Hot 100 Top 10 songs form any week in any year so brace yourselves because there are so many amazing songs on that list that could potentially be butchered or reinterpreted in new and cool ways. And as always, be prepared for several contestants to play it safe and manage to bore the pants off your grandmother.
On that note I will leave you all until tomorrow when I will provide my take on the Top 12 Girl's performances.
"The Moderator"
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Top 24 are "Officially" Revealed? Or Maybe Not.....
Breaking News:
Chris Golightly, the curly haired contestant that was featured in early audition shows, was in Room 1 and was shown repeatedly sitting in the holding room awaiting to hear his fate but was never shown, was dropped from the show at 5pm last night, after being told he had made the Top 24! The reason that has been given is that he could not prove that he had been released from a previous contract with a band he was in. Apparently the former band manager could not (or just didn't want to) produce a copy of the release until it was too late. Chris was dropped from the show, told he couldn't try out again because he made the top 46, was also told by an 19 Entertainment bigwig that he was his favorite contestant, and was then replaced by Tim Urban. Stay tuned to see if anything changes.
In other news, there has still been no official word on whether Big Mike has been dropped from the show because his father gave a television interview where he stated that his son had made the top 24 in violation of the non-disclosure clause in Big Mike's contract.
Here are your Top 24 - at least as it stands for now pending a potential lawsuit by Chris who is meeting with an attorney today:
Top 12 Guys
"Big" Mike Lynche
Alex Lambert
John Park
Joe Munoz
Jermaine Sellers (who was a finalist on BET's Sunday Best)
Andrew Garcia
Tyler Grady
Tim Urban
Aaron Kelly
Todrick Hall
Lee Dewyze
Casey James
Top 12 Girls
Katelyn Epperly
Didi Benami
Janell Wheeler
Lacey Brown
Crystal Bowersox
Katie Stevens
Michelle Delamar
Siobhan Magnus
Lilly Scott
Ashley Rodriguez
Paige Miles
Haeley Vaughn
Not sure what the judges saw over the course of Hollywood Week to make the following decisions:
Seriously people, who would have thought that a child, Aaron Kelly, who kept forgetting his lyrics would one, still be around at the end and two, be selected over the likes of Jermaine Purifoy or Thaddeus Johnson. Tim Urban, who couldn't seem to sing in tune anytime they showed him makes the show along with Alex Lambert who also seemd to not have what it takes to survive on the Kodak stage.
On the womens side, Angela Martin was flat out robbed. No way she doesn't make it over Haeley Vaughn what a travesty!
And thanks to the ever so maddening Idol editing crew, we haven't even heard about 4 of the top 12 women sing.....either they are incredible or they didn't have interesting enough back stories to warrant tv time.
That brings us to next week when the fun really begins. If you haven't noticed, I have not been my usual snarky self. All that changes next week!!!
-"The Moderator"
Chris Golightly, the curly haired contestant that was featured in early audition shows, was in Room 1 and was shown repeatedly sitting in the holding room awaiting to hear his fate but was never shown, was dropped from the show at 5pm last night, after being told he had made the Top 24! The reason that has been given is that he could not prove that he had been released from a previous contract with a band he was in. Apparently the former band manager could not (or just didn't want to) produce a copy of the release until it was too late. Chris was dropped from the show, told he couldn't try out again because he made the top 46, was also told by an 19 Entertainment bigwig that he was his favorite contestant, and was then replaced by Tim Urban. Stay tuned to see if anything changes.
In other news, there has still been no official word on whether Big Mike has been dropped from the show because his father gave a television interview where he stated that his son had made the top 24 in violation of the non-disclosure clause in Big Mike's contract.
Here are your Top 24 - at least as it stands for now pending a potential lawsuit by Chris who is meeting with an attorney today:
Top 12 Guys
"Big" Mike Lynche
Alex Lambert
John Park
Joe Munoz
Jermaine Sellers (who was a finalist on BET's Sunday Best)
Andrew Garcia
Tyler Grady
Tim Urban
Aaron Kelly
Todrick Hall
Lee Dewyze
Casey James
Top 12 Girls
Katelyn Epperly
Didi Benami
Janell Wheeler
Lacey Brown
Crystal Bowersox
Katie Stevens
Michelle Delamar
Siobhan Magnus
Lilly Scott
Ashley Rodriguez
Paige Miles
Haeley Vaughn
Not sure what the judges saw over the course of Hollywood Week to make the following decisions:
Seriously people, who would have thought that a child, Aaron Kelly, who kept forgetting his lyrics would one, still be around at the end and two, be selected over the likes of Jermaine Purifoy or Thaddeus Johnson. Tim Urban, who couldn't seem to sing in tune anytime they showed him makes the show along with Alex Lambert who also seemd to not have what it takes to survive on the Kodak stage.
On the womens side, Angela Martin was flat out robbed. No way she doesn't make it over Haeley Vaughn what a travesty!
And thanks to the ever so maddening Idol editing crew, we haven't even heard about 4 of the top 12 women sing.....either they are incredible or they didn't have interesting enough back stories to warrant tv time.
That brings us to next week when the fun really begins. If you haven't noticed, I have not been my usual snarky self. All that changes next week!!!
-"The Moderator"
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
The Top 24 Are Selected...
Before I get into the meat and potatoes of my first ever post, I first want to apologize for the state of this blog. This is my first attempt at this so bear with me as this site is very much under construction. You will see many changes as the weeks go by and hopefully, all those changes will be for the better. If anyone has any suggestions as to layout, content, colors, etc, please feel free to let me know!
Second, you can all thank David M. for suggesting that the format for this entertaining little contest shift from e-mail to the world of blogs. I'll be honest and say that it is a great idea but one that I am not entirely comfortable with. But with that being said, I'm going to do it anyway. I will however attempt to keep my true identity hidden as I do not want to endanger my current employment or any future employment opportunities that may come along. As you are all aware, I have a particularly irreverent/sarcastic/offbeat sense of humor; I am not shy about saying exactly what's on my mind; I sometimes forget to engage my filter or censor my language and let a few obsenities fly; and I may, from time to time, write something that could be deemend offensive by the PC police even though it is hilarious (even if it's just hilarious to me!). So, please do your best to not let slip my true identity and I will do my best not to post your home address, telephone number, social security number, or incriminating photos of you if you do.
-- "The Moderator"
Okay now that the house keeping items are out of the way I can dive head first into the world of blogging and pray that I don't accidently land in the shallow end and break my neck.
This is the maiden post of the AG Idol 2010 contest.
To recap 2009, Kristen M. is the returning/defending champion from last year having narrowly unseated me, "The Moderator," as champion. I know nobody cares about who came in second but it's my blog so I'm reminding you all.
So far this year we have seen what the landscape looks like minus Paula Abdul and it's not as frightening as one might have thought. We still have Randy (I only know four phrases) Jackson, Kara (Nobody likes me including several of the guest judges) DioGuardi and Simon (I'm boded with doing this show and want to do something completely different so I'm leaving to start a new show that's exactly like this one) Cowell to annoy and entertain us. But this year we have been gifted with the presence of Ellen Degeneres. While she has only been on the show since Hollywood Week and the editing has been lousy, Ellen seems to be fitting right in and to me, has been a refreshing addition to the show. As far as the rumors of potential Simon replacements, I am choosing not to engage them at this time.
The weeks since the show came back on the air have been filled with some truely horrific auditions; far too many people who appear to have escaped from local psych wards; several touching stories; many brilliant performances; a smattering of guest judges - some good (Posh, NPH, Shania) and some not so good (Aviril, Mary J. and Joe JoBro) and one ugly dude in a bikini.
Hollywood Week has seen several of the promising performers we saw in the audition cities absolutely fall apart under the pressure of Hollywood Week and get sent packing for simply forgetting their lyrics, choosing a terrible song and performing it off key or choosing to perform a song with so many lyrics that they simply mumbled until they got to the word refridgerator. It happens every year and still they don't seem to learn.
So who makes it to the top 24? Tune in tonight at 8pm for the 2 hour episode to see if your favorive makes it.
One final note. Please feel free to provide me with suggestions on all facets of this blog as I would like to make the whole expericnce enjoyable for everyone.
Thanks.
"The Moderator"
Second, you can all thank David M. for suggesting that the format for this entertaining little contest shift from e-mail to the world of blogs. I'll be honest and say that it is a great idea but one that I am not entirely comfortable with. But with that being said, I'm going to do it anyway. I will however attempt to keep my true identity hidden as I do not want to endanger my current employment or any future employment opportunities that may come along. As you are all aware, I have a particularly irreverent/sarcastic/offbeat sense of humor; I am not shy about saying exactly what's on my mind; I sometimes forget to engage my filter or censor my language and let a few obsenities fly; and I may, from time to time, write something that could be deemend offensive by the PC police even though it is hilarious (even if it's just hilarious to me!). So, please do your best to not let slip my true identity and I will do my best not to post your home address, telephone number, social security number, or incriminating photos of you if you do.
-- "The Moderator"
Okay now that the house keeping items are out of the way I can dive head first into the world of blogging and pray that I don't accidently land in the shallow end and break my neck.
This is the maiden post of the AG Idol 2010 contest.
To recap 2009, Kristen M. is the returning/defending champion from last year having narrowly unseated me, "The Moderator," as champion. I know nobody cares about who came in second but it's my blog so I'm reminding you all.
So far this year we have seen what the landscape looks like minus Paula Abdul and it's not as frightening as one might have thought. We still have Randy (I only know four phrases) Jackson, Kara (Nobody likes me including several of the guest judges) DioGuardi and Simon (I'm boded with doing this show and want to do something completely different so I'm leaving to start a new show that's exactly like this one) Cowell to annoy and entertain us. But this year we have been gifted with the presence of Ellen Degeneres. While she has only been on the show since Hollywood Week and the editing has been lousy, Ellen seems to be fitting right in and to me, has been a refreshing addition to the show. As far as the rumors of potential Simon replacements, I am choosing not to engage them at this time.
The weeks since the show came back on the air have been filled with some truely horrific auditions; far too many people who appear to have escaped from local psych wards; several touching stories; many brilliant performances; a smattering of guest judges - some good (Posh, NPH, Shania) and some not so good (Aviril, Mary J. and Joe JoBro) and one ugly dude in a bikini.
Hollywood Week has seen several of the promising performers we saw in the audition cities absolutely fall apart under the pressure of Hollywood Week and get sent packing for simply forgetting their lyrics, choosing a terrible song and performing it off key or choosing to perform a song with so many lyrics that they simply mumbled until they got to the word refridgerator. It happens every year and still they don't seem to learn.
So who makes it to the top 24? Tune in tonight at 8pm for the 2 hour episode to see if your favorive makes it.
One final note. Please feel free to provide me with suggestions on all facets of this blog as I would like to make the whole expericnce enjoyable for everyone.
Thanks.
"The Moderator"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)