Warning: This program contains pitchy singing and Tim Urban and may cause severe headaches and nausea

In case any more evidence was needed to demonstrate that Season 9 of American Idol will go down as the worst ever, last nights program provided us with a plethora of examples.  Shall we review?  Why not!

First let's take a look at the cross promotional whoha with Clash of the Titans.  The intro to the show was to paraphrase Simon, "If I'm being completely honest it was like sitting on your front porch picking your teeth with a blade of grass and waiting for the mailman to come by and deliver some piece of crap you ordered off of QVC."  In other words, it was pointless, boring and a waste of time.  Likening Simon to a Cracken(?) was mildly amusing but when even the movie's stars seem to be annoyed and uninterested in participating in the cross promotion you know you've got a problem.

Throw in Ryan stating, "Great, great show last night."  What?  Now I'm positive that Ryan was actually at the show on Tuesday since I saw him on my TV but then again he could have pre-recorded his appearance.  But then again if he had pre-recorded his appearance then how did he manage to aggrivate Didi to the point that even I wanted to slap him?  So that leaves me wondering if he was there and just listening to Justin Bieber on his iPod?  Hmmmmmm.......

Then we were treated to the Ford Commercial which was stupid and mildly offensive - "Kung Fu Fighting?"  Seriously?  Who's idea was it to dress everyone up in martial arts outfits and have them do stereotypical "kung fu" moves accompanied by 1960's Batman TV show graphics?  And did anyone else notice that it was Casey that was the one who didn't have to get all dressed up and act like an idiot?  Probably because he's about as energetic as a scarecrow and as stiff as one of Paula's drinks!  Again I lament that Toyota isn't the sponsor. 

We were also treated to a return visit from the "Velvet Teddy Bear" Ruben Stoddard.  Yippee!!  Raise your hand if you have ever listened to a Ruben song outside of his guest appearances on Idol.  Or better yet, how many of you actuall own one of his records or have ever downloaded one of his songs?  That's what I though.  Sorry Ruben but your musical stylings are as entertaining as standing in line at the RMV.

I think I'll start a petition to return the results shows to a half hour.  Anyone with me?

Oh, but it didn't stop there even though it should have.

There was the whole bit with Big Mike and his pink rat tail that he had glued to the back of his head so it stuck out from under his watchcap.  Even the gag was older than Aaron!

After all those shenanigans we finally got down to some voting.  Lee, Casey and Aaron were dispatched to safety in relativly quick succession (yeah right!) only after Ryan engaged the Judges in a tedious rehashing of the same crap they babbled on ad nauseam on Tuesday night.  It even prompted Simon to reming Ryan that this isn't "The Oprah Winfrey Show.  It's American Idol."  Hey Simon, sadly this is what your show has become and the reason that you are leaving, remember?

Siobhan and Katie were left to ponder their fate as Ryan launched into yet another round of should Katie listen to Simon or Kara and Randy and sing Pop/R&B or Country.  Personally I don't give a flying Fig Newton what she sings as long as she does it in tune and in the privacy of her own home.  In an effort to spice things up the camera crew was apparently instructed to zoom in on Siobhan constantly during the show because we were treated to no less than 8 close-ups of her in various states on emotional meltdown.  And they wonder why she screams!

Here's another question for everyone.  Are you all getting annoyed with Ryan like Simon is?  I know I am.

Next week the Top 9 (what a misleading statement that has become) will be taking a stab at the Lennon-McCartney song book and I predict that no less than 6 of them with absolutely butcher whatever song they choose.  Heck, I'd even put money on that if mine wasn't already tied up in tickets to Aruba!

So after making me dread watching next week Ryan drools all over his boy-crush Justin Bieber who just happens to be in the house.  This whole Ryan/Justin thing is becoming a little too "Neverland Ranch" for my taste.  heck, even Simon commented on it even though most people probably didn't pick up on his thinly vailed reference to Ryan being "in the closet."  Not that there's anything wrong with that - Right Ricky Martin?

Usher than took to the stage and reminded us all of just how amazing an singer/performer mentor he is.  What a travesty that whole performance was.  And what in the world was Will.I.Am doing wearing a skirt and a white jacket?  Did he just come from a Designing Women fan club social?  Not even Autotune could save that pile of crap.  Good grief.  No wonder his new album has been getting panned by the reviewers.

Finally we were back to the voting. 

Didi was sent to the bottom 3 right off the bat.  Big surprise.
Ryan then decided to try and pull an early April Fool's joke on Big Mike and paid the price:

Not a smart move Ryan.  Perhaps you should stick with the likes of Aaron.

Crystal was sent to safety next but not before she threatened to pick up Ryan as well! 

Andrew and Teflon Tim were left and it was a pretty forgone conclusion as to who was going into the bottom 3 but this being Idol they had to drag it out.  Smiling away, Tim endured the rehashing of Tuesday nights performance comments as well as Kara asking him point blank if he even understands what the Judges are saying to him as far as advice goes.  Despite his dimbulb appearance, Tim mamaged to provide a pretty intelligent and and snappy comeback "Every time I step out on that stage I know it’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.” Tim added that if it is his last performance, he doesn’t want to end it by looking depressed.  Gee, thanks Tim.  It's also not a good idea to leave the voting public depressed about what you "just did" on stage. 

So the Bottom 3 were Katie, Tim and Didi which just happened to be the only three people picked to be voted off this week in our little contest.  But before we could find out which of us were smarter luckier than the rest with our picks, there was one more performer to sit through - Diddy Dirty Money.  Well, "Hello, Good Morning" to you too Diddy.  It sure has been awhile.  Oh wait, you've never been on Idol before.  I wonder if Diddy will ever get to be a mentor?  While I wasn't overly excited about the song or performance it was loads better than Usher.

Before I get to who was voted off, I will just say that it no way in hell was either Didi or Tim going to earn the Judges save so why even bother?  Well, there was about 6 minites of airtime left so the charade continued.  Tim was sent back to safety which surprised even his family and friends in the audience!  How's that for support?  Which meant that Didi was headed for a visit on the Ellen show sometime next week.

Current Standings (with who we picked to go home)


Eric -- 11 (Didi)
David -- 8 (Katie)
Yolanda -- 8 (Tim)
Scott -- 7 (Katie)
Emily -- 7 (Katie)
Betty -- 7 (Didi)
Kristen -- 6 (Tim)
Mary M. -- 6 (Tim)
Lois -- 6 (Tim)
April -- 6 (Didi)
Jeff -- 5 (Didi)
Mary W. -- 4 (Tim)
Jon -- 4 (Tim)
Shannon -- 2 (Tim)
Margret -- 0 (No Vote)
 
For those who may not have seen it, yesterday I posted a pic as an update to my post.  Check it out.  It's funny.
 
I'll have more Idol news before next weeks show.
 
Enjoy the weather!